Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

Wow it's so crazy to me that we are about to close the chapter on 2014. My dad once told me that the older anyone gets, the faster time seems to speed on by. I, personally, would like to put a halt to that, and soak in more moments (even the bad ones) and slow time down a little bit.

At any rate, 2014 was a pretty good year for the Willeford's. The kids have both settled into a well ordered routine at school, and are doing well. Dad is doing well at work, and is almost at his two year mark, and as you all know I'm plugging away for the same district (hitting my three year mark in January), and am almost done with my degree. Plus we booked our first family vacation, and did lots of new things. Not too shabby as far as years go. Definitely some tough moments, but those were worked through and conquered, for the most part.

A few years ago, I had decided resolutions were dumb and amounted to nothing. This last year, though, I actually achieved some, and did so on purpose. So I have come to the conclusion that resolutions can work, but it all depends on the mind set of the person making them.

Though I have not formally taken the time to sit down and ponder what I would like to achieve within the next calendar year, here are a few things that are always on my mind, and therefore really important to share with all of you in order to keep me accountable. Hopefully, this time next year I will be able to proudly say I completed most, if not all, of them!

1. I know this is a resolution I share with most of you, but one of the top resolutions I have is losing weight. Not only do I want this for looks purposes, but also for health. I want to live as long as possible, and be able to play with my kids, and be active with them. I also do not want door closed to me because of physical limitations. Or, God forbid, be in a situation where I have to run, but cannot. And, lastly, because I want to be in the best shape possible during our family vacation. Being turned away from rides is one of my big fears. So the goal is to lose at least 40 pounds by May 1st. That's scary, but I believe it to be doable. And if I can lose that 40, I should be able to lose at least another 20 by this time next year.

2. Work on my faith. This is hugely important to me as I constantly question myself and things. I want a strong foundation in God, thank you very much, and intend to get it in 2015. This should definitely be listed as number one.

3. Not let my fears and procrastination get in the way of graduating. Already I can feel my worries weighing me down, causing me to retreat on what I need to do to finish classes. Instead, I need to forge ahead and finish my bachelors this coming year - I will be finished, or finishing within a few weeks, by the end of 2015.

4. Go on our first family vacation. This is very important to me. I remember how excited I used to be in going on trips with my parents. I want my own children to have that same excitement, and some of those same experiences. Also, my husband has never been able to experience a family vacation, and I would like him to be able to this year.

5. Continue seeking out new experiences, instead of staying closed off in my own world of comfortable predictability. I started this one last year, and was actually able to do lots of new things just by not limiting myself (unless it was in saying no).

6. Try to become more organized by in my home, and with my schedule. I'm horrible at this. Many good intentions, yet something always comes up and I get derailed. As the saying goes, try, try again. Maybe this year it'll partially stick.

7. I have some private goals that I am not sharing. Some dealing with driving and what not. I would like to get some of these done before my next birthday. If I achieve them, I may share. Otherwise, next year just look for a check mark next to #7 :)

8. Better quality family time. I do not need this for myself. My husband and I have been together for so long that... Well, we're comfortable and fine with who we are. As a family unit, though, we need to actively do more things with our kids outside of our usual routine, and what needs to be done in daily living.

And there you have it. The 8 resolutions I have for 2015. Though there are many more I would like (such as watching less TV), I think it's more practical, and doable, to stay with this.

Happy New Years to you all, and best of luck in making those resolutions become a reality!

Crescent Apple Pie

After Thanksgiving, I had an event to bake a dessert for, but did not have the time for any of my usual treats. Who, honestly, has the time to spend several hours prepping, putting together, and baking any thing delicious after doing that very thing for days prior to Thanksgiving, and then running around for all of the amazing Black Friday sales? I definitely did not, and took to Pinterest to try and find something simple, yet yummy, that would remind everyone of the holidays while not putting me out of hours, and hours, of time. I stumbled upon a recipe for a unique variation of apple pie. As I began baking, I realized that I did not have on hand some of the spice mixes that were required, and ended up making my own. It was so easy, the spices took a few minutes to throw together, and between prepping and baking I spent approximately 45 minutes on this gem!

Ingredients:
1 Granny Smith Apple (or any other variety you may prefer) peeled and cut into 8 slices
3 tablespoons of melted butter
1 can of refrigerated crescent rolls
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon clove
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons cinnamon
Parchment paper
** optional ** Instead of the last three ingredients, apple pie spice may be used

Makes 8 crescent pies

Instructions:

First, pre-heat oven to 375 degrees, and lay out parchment on a cookie sheet. After peeling and slicing the apples, place them in a bowl and pour the 3 tablespoons of melted butter on top. Make sire to mix well so that butter is covering all portions of the apple. Then, mix together all of the spices making certain they are mixed well and that none of the brown sugar is clumped together.

Now it is time to begin assembling! Unroll one of the crescents, take a spoonful of the spices and spread evenly over all of one side of the dough. Then, take one of the buttered apple slices and place it on the wider end of the crescent, then roll the dough up, and place on the cookie sheet. Repeat until all of the apple slices and crescents have been used. Lastly, place in the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until a golden brown.

Enjoy!

#Reverb14 Day 21 Ruminations

Today, I'd like you to revisit what you wrote on 1 December on the first day of Reverb14.

How does that compare to where you are now i.e. what can you say today with certainty?

Then, without thinking too hard about it, grab a pen and some paper and finish the following sentences:

In 2015, I am open to...

In 2015, I want to feel...

In 2015, I will say no to...

In 2015, I will know I am on the right track when… But when I find myself veering off course, I will gently but firmly…

In December 2015, I want to look back and say...

 

First off, let me just say wow that #Reverb has already come to a close, and 2015 is literally right around the corner. I do not think I have ever experienced a year fly by as quickly as 2014 has (please, please do not let that be a hint of how the years to come will be!). The last few weeks of daily prompts have been fun, and I am already looking forward to doing this again, next year.

 

Without further adieu, here is my last #reverb prompt of 2014!

 

In 2015 I am open to... New experiences. I want to open myself up to the joy and possibilities of seeing myself grow in my career, I also want to open myself up to new experiences within my marriage and with my kids. I do not want to let fear hold me back from anything. I know that I will always worry, always be fearful, but I can still jump when needed (so long as I'm not being stupid, but that's a topic for a different post).

 

In 2015, I want to feel... Healthy, spiritual, and successful. I am done with being tired all the time, and feeling like a blob. I am also tired of questioning my spirituality and being constantly worried over the state of affairs in my religious mind. And I am done feeling like I am unsuccessful because of what I do for a living. I am almost done with school, and have worked hard to have experience for my resume when I need it most. Time to feel good about that!

 

In 2015, I will say no to... Being used, letting people treat me as a second rate friend (or, worse, a friend who is benched for most of the "game"), and guilt.

 

In 2015, I will know I am on the right track when... My spirit is calm because I know I am doing what He wants, even if the rest of the world around me is in turmoil. But when I find myself veering off course, I will gently but firmly... Have a conversation with myself and my husband about the best direction to turn. We are a team, and will react to life steering accordingly.

 

In December 2015, I want to look back and say... I did it. I completed student teaching (or, at least, I will have a few weeks after #Reverb15 ends), and will begin interviewing for teaching positions. I will lose a significant amount of weight and will feel healthy, and my relationships with those who mean most to me will be healthy and tended to. Also, I will get myself on track spiritually, and will make any changes in my life that I feel God is pushing me towards. Lastly, I will be in control of my feelings. Life is full of open doors, I need to not become emotional when a few are shut. It does not matter if the shut ones are due to failed friendships, missed job opportunities, moments of anger, a small paycheck, etc. I am in control of my reaction, I will choose to keep going forward to a better, open door instead of losing out on life, crying in front of those that are closed and locked forever.

#Reverb14 Day 20 A Room for Joy

One thing I learned in 2014 was how to make space for joy and levity, even in the midst of challenging circumstances or sad times. 

How could you make space for joy in the year to come? How could you protect it?

 

 

I have a hard time with taking myself, and life, too seriously. Yes, I can joke around with my own kids (or kids I work with), but deep down inside I tend to see things as either a crises or calm, good or bad. I'm either in an excellent mood or a sour one. I do not go out of my way to look for joy, at all (nor do I look for ways to be angry, though).

 

What I would like to do is take a few moments at the end of every day, and reflect on the good, happy, and funny parts. In every single bad event, there are glimmers of hope and happiness. It may not change the outcome of any particular life circumstance, but it will remind me that life doesn't need to be so black and white all of the time. It would also be nice to incorporate this reflection time as a family, and have the children share their moments of joy while being tucked in every evening.

#Reverb14 Day 19 A Year in Signs

Today, I invite you to consider: what sorts of signs and symbols have recurred for you in 2014? Think: repeating colours, shapes, people, sayings, music, images, ideas. Where could they possibly be leading you?

I have shared privately, on my own Facebook account, some of the things I have felt followed me (almost stalker like) for the entirety of 2014. The main item that was quietly, yet loudly in its own right, there was a verse. Just a really, really simple Bible verse that I did not realize upon hearing at our sports camp would be everywhere I turned.

The verse is as follows: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

What I did not realize is that my Grandmother had given me a coffee mug as a Christmas present last year that had this very verse printed on it. Though I had read the mug, it did not register with me until after our sports camp in June when all of the campers (my children included) had to memorize this gem. Then, one day over the summer, I wanted some tea, pulled the mug out, and my jaw dropped.

Fast forward a few months, and the verse would keep popping up. It was in my Facebook feed from other friends, a friend used a picture with the verse front and center as her cover page, I'd open my Bible to a random passage and it would be right there.

Every single time this verse popped its significant self up, I had either just gone through something difficult, or was facing a decision of what to do that would alter the course of our year. I would be internally freaking out, and those words "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to give you a hope and a future" would be there, staring at me.

The word "plans" is hugely powerful. We all make them, we all get cranky when we break them or someone/thing breaks them with/for us. Knowing that there is someone out there who has a known plan for all of us, and that the plan is for good and not evil, is so comforting. This was my year of plans for myself. Plans that I did not anticipate, or had felt as though they would fail if I went for them (self sabotaging as my husband calls it). Plans I had the best of intentions with. Some happened, and some did not. At the end of the day, I know that the right plans will take place, and that I will walk right in line with where I am supposed to be (hopefully, with much prayer and focus with what He wants).

#Reverb14 Day 18 Nourishment

In the busyness of the everyday, taking time to nourish the soul doesn't reach the top of the 'to do' list as often as it should. 

What nourishes your soul? How would you like to incorporate more of this into your life in 2015?

 

The following are all things that help me feel more grounded. All of them are also things that I need to do more (or maybe a little less) of, and will make an extra effort to do them next year.

 

1. Sleep. I do not get enough sleep pretty much ever. It is either my fault from getting so involved with something online, doing homework, or watching something. Another problem is that I let stress get to me, and that in turn leads me to staring at my ceiling until 3:00am (I would know the time since my hubby gets up for work around the time I finally doze off).

 

2. Tea. I have always loved drinking tea, and have always associated it with calm. I tried drinking it again this last year, and ended up rejecting it in favor of coffee and soda. Starting over winter break, I intend to go back to herbal teas and accept more of a calming aspect of the day instead of an energized one.

 

3. Writing. I have enjoyed writing since starting college, and used to do a lot of it. My ideas, it seems, have dried up, though, and I felt I had nothing worth sharing with others. And, I have never wanted to be one of those people who writes just for the sake of vomiting some words out every day in order to keep blog activity. I would much rather have decent content versus a bunch of blather. Over winter break, though, I would like to actually sit down and bounce around some personal ideas and organize what to blog about for the rest of the school year, and then will re-evaluate over summer break.

 

4. Exercise. I hate getting the momentum up to do it, but actually have fun once I've started. That, and I feel fantastic afterwards. Which means I need to just suck it up, wake up an hour earlier, and just do it (ha ha, see, I'm a perfect Nike commercial).

 

5. Learning the Bible. Though the stories do confuse me a lot (and the more I read does not seem to help that at all), I know I'm doing what's right by reading it. And it helps a lot during church service when I can piece together the meaning with prior knowledge. And it keeps me more centered on God. This is another one of those "just do it" type things.

 

6. Control my words. I feel much better about myself when I do not participate in rude gossip. It's hard, it's so much easier to share information and what not, but I have to admit that it isn't right. And I feel much better when I do not take part. I know I will not be perfect, but in 2015, I really want to work more on my words being positive ones.

 

7. Family time. It's hard to find things to do together that do not cost a huge amount, or that are cheap but not repetitious. I feel much better, though, and more centered when I know that my kids have a sense of family and the importance of doing things together. Over the next year, I want to develop more things we can cheaply, and easily, do with one another.

 

8. Not procrastinate, on anything. I have always put homework off until the last minute, or housework, cooking, work projects, etc. And that leaves me feeling disconnected, crabby, and panicked. I have made some huge strides in 2014 to cease this destructive behavior, but will be the first to admit that I am a work in progress, and will need to stay on top of myself in this arena.

 

9. Baths. Some times I just have to be a girl, take a hot bath with some Epsom salts, and light a candle. I cannot actually remember the last time I did that, which tells me that it needs to be put in my actual schedule next year. It's an inexpensive, guilt free way to take time for me since I can do it after my kids go to bed.

 

10. Budget better. So much of my stress comes from not planning well financially. I will be better able to be calm, and nourished, if I know that this stress has been removed (or, at least, has been greatly lowered). Though I do strive to budget monthly, I do not do so as well as I should. Over break, I plan on researching different budget methods, and choosing one that will work well for our family. Baby steps!

#Reverb14 Day 17 Don't Be A...

Today's prompt is funny, but something we all need to face: "How can you stop being an a**hole, get out of your own way and make room for more of your magic to happen in 2015?"

Daily, I struggle with how to take the patience I use at work (not always well, I might add) and carry that over to home life. And, daily, I fail epically. I should be able to treat the people I love better than my co-workers, students, customer service personnel, and random people on the street. Instead, I become a raving lunatic who snaps over very stupid things.

This next year I want to develop a loving personality. I would like people who actually know me to be able to say I have grace in abundance, am loving, understanding, and giving. If asked right now if I am any of these things, those closest to me would probably laugh themselves into an early grave. More than people who know me, I want those closest to me to be on the receiving end of these positive traits. My children need to see a mother dominated by kindness, who cherishes almost every moment of their childhoods. Above cherishing, a mother who spends copious amounts of quality time with her children, and doesn't groan when they ask to be tucked in.

And, lets face it, no matter who you are, by the time bedtime rolls around, you're tired. Reading one more story, giving one more hug, climbing up and down stairs can all seem like they're too much. Too much energy, too much loss of personal space, too much everything. In truth, though, these kids will be this age only for the very moment they are in. I (and the rest of you) will have tons of time for myself in less than 12 years. 12 very short years. I know they are short because these last 8 have gone by in what seems like a breath.

Time to stop being a jerk, and be the person I need to be for the next decade in hopes that it'll be natural after that. I do NOT want to be someone who looks back in regret on all of the missed moments and opportunities, and feels they had minimal input on who their little people turned out to be.

So, the way I shall stop being a jerk is to develop a nurturing nature of patience, kindness, grace, humility, and use it all to smile while giving one more kiss, one more hug, one more bedtime story (or stopping yet another sibling rivalry fight) as I remember today is the last day I am able to do this at this age.

#Reverb14 Day 16 A Thousand Words

"1000 Words: There’s the old saying that a photo is worth 1,000 words. Give us a photo with that impact that sums up some significant event of your 2014, or give us 1,000 words about a pivotal moment in 2014."

I hate this picture, I really do. I hate it because instead of focusing on the carefree, joyful type atmosphere (first time being on an island and at a lighthouse) I see the body fat being exposed. I have to get over that, though, and focus on the feelings in the picture, the feelings that I was continuing my resolution (much past the months that most people give up and forget) to try new things.

So, here you have it, my "1000 Words" in picture for 2014!

Lighthouse on Vashon Island

#Reverb14 Day 15 The Gremlins

"I’ve learnt over the years that the only way to get anywhere in life is just to notice what other people are doing, hear the gremlins, feel the fear and do it anyway. It never gets any easier but to keep on doing it is the point.

What are you really proud that you made happen in 2014, despite the gremlins? And what will you do anyway in 2015?"

 

Oh  man, this was my year for that. Though technically it started at the very end of 2013, I really dove in feet first to my new job in the Resource Room at work in 2014. That was terrifying as I had never done anything like it before. I had either had a small group with general education students, or been a one-on-one - never before had I been in charge of my own groups all day long teaching multiple subjects with a wide variety of age ranges. It was scary to learn how to manage the kids (still learning on that), pace myself with my lessons, and actually make certain they left each day learning something. Absolutely terrifying, especially knowing that whether or not I had failed/passed would be reflected on their standardized tests at the end of the year. Pretty proud that I stuck through with it, and am still going this year.

 

Next up for 2014 was my decision to just jump in and change my major. Instead of K-8 general education degree, I'm a dual major now for general and special education. It felt like a natural, logical decision, yet when it came time to make the call it definitely rocked my world a bit with apprehension. The change was made, though, and it piled on extra work for me. I can say, though, with an absolute certainty that it has been worth it so far.

 

Lets see... I partially climbed a mountain as well this last year. My body wouldn't let me finish, but I still stared fear down and gave it a shot. And, let me tell ya, some of those steep cliffs left me with my knees wobbling with an intense fear of falling over, yet I still proceeded on in both directions.

 

Lastly, I decided to stop talking about taking a family vacation, and just book the darned thing. I have always been scared of whether or not it was okay financially, and finally decided that if we keep waiting it'll either never happen, or the kids will be older and will have missed out on those young family trip memories. So book it I did, and those the anxiety is still there, I know we'll have a magical time.

 

In 2015 I first off want to make certain that we cancel our trip for no reason short of national emergency/family emergency. We are going. We are going and will willingly give up some of our extra luxuries (like Starbucks for mom) in order to make future memories. Yep, Lord willing, it's gonna happen.

 

Next, I shouldn't put this in print, but I am terrified of student teaching. It's a lot of pressure to be placed with a stranger, and hope beyond all hopes that you out perform anyone they've ever seen in order to get a glowing recommendation, and then a job. Talk about a four month package of explosive anxiety right there. I shall finish, though, and I'm 90% positive that all will turn out fine.

 

Lastly, after I gave up on my last hike, I vowed to get in better shape and do the exact same hike some time in 2015, but decimate it this time around. Or, at least, finish without collapsing in a heap at the bottom begging to be airlifted home. I might just set my sights lower in saying that I will finish the hike, collapse, but save my dignity by managing to walk to the parking lot within the first hour of finishing the hike (and after consuming copious amounts of fluids).

 

A lot has been faced in the last year - more, really, than I have even put down in print either for want of privacy, or in an effort to reduce redundancy - and even more in the year to come. Bring it, 2015!

#Reverb14 Day 14 One Word

One word: What one word could describe your 2014?





I think the word that best describes 2014 for me is expeditious. The whole year felt as though I was speedily going from one place to the next as though I was on a race against the clock, and if I lost that all the blocks for my life would tumble (theoretically, of course).

At first I was going to try to graduate early, then it seemed impossible and I said to heck with it, then decided... Why  not, lets give this a big push and see (I made the deadline, by the way, just wasn't financially possible to take time off work for the finish this year). I went from one class to another like I had a fire chasing me - I might add that my scores were pretty good, though. I did the same with state exams thinking I had more time, finding out I didn't, and then doing a mad rush to get it completed. The same can be said for my family life in having one thing after another to rush to. Now that we're at the end of the year, I am feeling it all catch up to me, and am beginning to crash in every way possible.

It is hard, I see so many people rushing about, accomplishing a lot on a daily basis, and they all seem fine. On the other hand, we're all different, and at the end of my year I can look back and say that I accomplished a lot, and learned that, when pushed, I can achieve near anything I set my mind to (if only that worked for winning the lottery). So, yes, expeditious is my word, and I'm sticking to it. I completed much at a rush, and did so relatively well. Sadly, I have a feeling 2015 will be ending on much of the same note, but that is okay since 2016 will be completely different!

#Reverb14 Day 13 Writing

And the prompt of the day is: "On writing: Chances are, if you’re participating in #reverb it’s because you like writing. Or at least want to like writing. Writing is like a muscle. Use it or lose it. What do you do every day to hone your craft? Or, what would you like to do each day to contribute to your writing? "

I absolutely love writing, which is probably hard to believe since I so rarely do it outside of homework. I used to blog a lot, but then life got in the way, and it became much harder to drum up the energy to even have a subject matter to write about. And that is what I would like to change. Every year, I participate in #Reverb, and every year I have a blast having that much of daily writing. Next year, I would like to fix the blog up, actually have it polished up and not generic. Also settle on an official blog name since I keep bouncing with different titles. And, in doing all of that, I would like to write a minimum of twice a week. It's not much, not enough to be a career blogger (but that's not been my goal for years), but it is enough to have an outlet, and get myself out there again.

#Reverb14 Day 12 Letter to Me

"It all starts with kindness. Everything I have learnt, everyone I have interviewed, every word I have studied has guided me to this simple but profound conclusion: true happiness begins and ends with self-kindness.

No more guilt. No more shoulds. No more comparison.

And the very best way to give your weary soul some kindness at the end of this year? A love note.

Write a letter from you to you... filled with forgiveness, love, and a big bear hug."

 

Dear Me,

 

You're pretty awesome, did you know that? I know most days you don't believe it, but you are. Most people expected you to fail by now, and I believe that you did too deep down inside. Instead of failing, though, you decided to cling to your pride like a pit bull to a juicy bone, and spend years without sleep to make the point that, you, dear self, are not going to resort to being a welfare mom (not bashing those who need it, but am suggesting that no one needs to make a career out of it) who lives life having absolutely nothing.

 

You have almost nothing right now, self, but I think you've realized that there is a rhyme and reason to that. A. You made choices to make that happen, and B. You know lots of hard work has to come before nothing turns into the happy voila of something. It's pretty huge, I think, to realize that life is usually the outcome of self choices, and that life can get better only after a large amount of effort is exerted. And you, Self, figured that out. Congratulations, go you, you deserve a gold star on the life report card!

 

Another fairly superb thing you seem to have realized, Self, is that lots may need to be done, but that doesn't mean EVERYTHING has to be done right at the same time. It's okay be tired. It really is. Most people would be tired if they worked, had kids, helped those kids, and had homework to complete after all of that. And it's okay to not look like a runway model while inwardly feeling exhausted. Oh, and it's okay to admit that the family eats processed foods half of the time (because of time, money, and the fact they simply will not eat most of the healthy, non processed stuff), and that every single day is not devoted to hours of working out (note, working out is important, Self, but in moderation and the right number of times per week. We need to work on that). So, good job on accepting things and figuring out that you, Self, are human. It is okay to remain human and not delve into the super human (after all, super heroes are fiction, and there is space for only one God).

 

Self, there is much to be improved upon in the coming years (weight, house cleanliness/organization, temperament in check, etc), but for now, you rock! You really do, keep on keeping on every single day without the regrets of why things are so hard currently, but instead with the vision of how life will be tomorrow. You got this, lady!

 

- Me

#Reverb14 Day 11 Rituals

"What tiny rituals: signal that your day is starting; help you ease into a creative project; give you closure from an intensive task; or mark other significant milestones in your day? What new rituals would you like to create in the new year?"

This question had me quietly chuckling to myself. What rituals do I have to get my day started? Hmm... Running around like a maniac realizing I pressed the snooze button a few too many times would pretty much sum it all up! The ritual for easing into a task? Wait until the very last possible moment, have a private mental break down, and run like crazy until things are completed. I do have a fun one for reaching daily milestones, I have an app where I track what needs to be done, and as I complete them I hear a joyous "ding" to tell me it has been completed. That "ding" oddly, makes me have my own party in my head, complete with nerdy dancing!

For the upcoming year, I would actually like to provide myself with breathing room. Maybe start by getting up an hour earlier,  plan ahead on tasks and start them in advance (I have worked on this on a lot this year). Anything that can take me from maniac status to normal human being, that would be good. Plus, it will help model for the kids how situations should be handled, and how the day should be greeted (normally, I sound like a marine sergeant ordering his troops into battle "everyone up, go, go, go!!!).

#Reverb14 Day 10 Generosity

Today's prompt is about generosity: "Look back at the last year and consider: how did generosity open your heart? How can you cultivate generosity in the coming year?"

In looking up the exact meaning for generosity, it is about more than just giving of objects, it is about being kind. Contemplating on that aspect of the word, I have been shown much kindness in the last year. Sad as this is, if I recounted every single act of generosity towards myself and my family I would not be able to do justice in describing what happened. So, instead, I will stick with one instance.

My husband is, I'm sure, like most others: fun, loving, a little on the absentminded side, and hard working. The last few years he has supported me through school in telling me that I am not allowed to quit (he means it), and if I change my major again he will insist I no longer continue my education (again, he means it). After watching me flip flop on a career choice for over 10 years, he decided to stand up, put his foot down, and demand that I either get a career, or move on in my life.

Boy oh boy did that freak me out, but I signed my life away and headed down the rabbit hole of teaching. It hasn't always been what I have expected, nor has it always been fun, but every time I think about quitting I see that look in his eyes. It makes me sigh, grab an energy drink, and continue doing my work.

Once June came around, and he saw that I'd passed the West-B (first in a two part series exams issued by the state for teachers), that gleam came in his eyes as though he actually believed - for the first time - that I may finish school and get a diploma. When I passed the second in the series, he moved from talking about "if" I graduate, to "when".

Fast forward to now, December, and he is actively working with me to help us save for my time student teaching. Along with working with me to get this done, he is my sounding board for frustration, and my rough/tough cheer leader to keep plugging away. I struggled for a few months to find student teaching placement, and he was right there offering suggestions every step of the way.

Though this all probably sounds odd, my husband has shown me great kindness in 1. Forcing me to take the steps towards finishing my degree, 2. Being gracious enough to agree to add extra courses for a double major (this added to our financial burden in paying school back), and 3. By putting in every effort to make my time left in school manageable. Without him, and many others, I would probably be left still trying to decide what step to take next.

#Reverb14 Day 9 Shades of Gray

Today asks "[a]s you enter into the new year, what would you like to do/make/have/be more often? How will you bear witness and celebrate the tiny milestones? How will you respond on the occasions when your intentions do not come to pass?"

I would like to continue my resolution of last year in trying new things. Simply starting the year with that attitude left me mentally open to trying most everything that came my way. Besides, I have already started a small list of things I would like to do in 2015!

As for making... I would like to actually make some of the sewing projects that I have lined up, plus bake more with my kids. In doing both of those things, I will be making more time to spend directly with them, which is always the ultimate goal.

I would like to have more of an attitude of lovingness instead of anger, irritation, and judgment. Also, I would like to strengthen my faith in this next year, to eliminate all questions. And, I would like to have a happy bank account with something in it (doesn't have to be much) at all times.

I would like to be in the present more often. Most of the times my mind is on work, homework, the tv, Facebook, my phone, etc. While doing that, I rob my family of the opportunity of sharing their lives with me. In worrying so much about posting where I am at, I miss moments of the family activity we are taking part in. Also, by holding the camera in front of my face so much, I limit my view of our activities to only what the lens picks up.

Next year, I would like milestones to be celebrated family style. We have some big ones coming up, so it would be nice to have each person write a few ideas down, put them in a jar, and when a milestone is reached, one idea will be pulled out and acted on. Little things like a family game night, or home made banana splits.

Lastly, I will try to respond to those situations by coming up with a more positive plan B. Instead of simply sulking, being upset, I will choose to take the active road to make something happen instead of nothing. For example, maybe my birthday plans with friends will fall through, but I will still get up, go out, and do something with my little family. Or maybe I will not get the job that I want to get, but will spend some time revamping my resume, and searching for a different opportunity. Any action is better than none!

#Reverb14 Day 8 Hero

Hero: Who was your hero this year? Tell us why. What makes a hero in your eyes?

My hero this year was my daughter. Though she is only 8 years old, she has taught me so much about just continuing to plug away at life, and to just roll with the punches. She has problems in school, yet never gives up, or lets it affect her level of enthusiasm for learning. In fact, she is always excited to get up, greet the day, and learn even more. Not only that, but she is one who is able to accept anyone's mood or attitude, and still be as happy, and bubbly, as ever. Mom has a bad day, she quietly accepts it and continues about life as though nothing ever happened.

To add to that, she is keenly aware of other's sufferings. If anyone is having a bad day, she is the first to offer a hug and try to listen and understand. For every homeless person she sees, she offers up a chirpy "hello" and tries to give them something whether it's some change, water, or any snack she may have on her.

My daughter is also a little mama to her brother, and has been since birth. As a just turned 2 year old, she could instantly tell what his cries meant, and would run off to fetch formula or diapers based on what she thought he needed. Fast forward six years, and she can be heard quietly (some times loudly) giving him lectures about life, and helping him with homework. She is also his school monitor, making certain Bub's gets where he needs to be on time, and that he doesn't hang out with "the bad kids". Though by the time he hits his teens, I'm sure he will want to clobber his sister, I hope he will some day realize how much of a support she really is.

First time ever holding baby brother

My biggest hope is that she will be treated the way she deserves by me as her mother, her father, her brother, and her future husband. That and that she realizes her self worth, and never strays from what we have taught her.

#Reverb14 Day 7 Selfie

Welcome to #Reverb14 day 7, today's prompt is:
This has been one of my favourite prompts for the past four years, so I cannot resist using it once again.

Please post your favourite picture of yourself from 2014, self-portrait or otherwise!

For bonus points: make montage of the selfies you have posted for the past four years or however long you have been participating in Reverb! #tbt (Throwback Thursday) photos also welcome.

 

Left is 2014, top right is me and the Busbsters in 2013, bottom right
is me and Reyna-Roo

 

#Reverb14 Day 6 Money

Welcome to #Reverb14 day 6, today's prompt is: "Money.  Where did you spend your money this year?  Did you save it instead?  What, if anything, would you like to do with your finances this year? "

This was the year of evaluating, and deciding what was important to pay off, and what goals we have as a family. As a result, we ended up paying down some very large bills that we've had (not paying off, but getting to the halfway point, which is a victory in itself), purchasing some new appliances that we knew we'd need, and set a payment down on our Disneyland vacation. Oh, and I spent a decent amount on the tests that I knew I would have to take to complete my bachelors degree. All in all, it was the year of spending to prepare for things to come.

Next year I would like to save as much as humanly possible for the 4 months that I am student teaching, along with setting aside for our Disney vacation. And beginning to save for a new car, I think. Mine needs to be allowed to retire, and spend the rest of its days resting in a junk yard. Another thing I have talked about doing is setting aside a certain amount weekly/monthly for Christmas, and I think that'll be really important as I will not have a job during the Christmas season next year. Basically, 2015 is the year, for us, to be as safe as possible with all of the income we have coming in.

#Rever14 Day 5 Letting Go

Letting go: For next year, I’m letting go of…





Dead weight, that's what I'm letting go of. What do I mean by "dead weight", exactly? Well, this weight that is literally hanging on my body and will kill me some day. Halfway through 2014 I managed to lose 16 pounds (yes, some did come back, but not all). Since starting back at work the weight loss has stalled out. Mainly because trying to juggle work, kids, homework, and working out just does not happen. I am not super woman, much unlike the majority of the mom's that I know.

At any rate, this year I plan to continue losing a bit at a time. I'm not certain how, yet, at least in the sense of how to fit it into my schedule, but I do know it'll be made a priority. For the sake of my own longevity, being able to enjoy our family vacations, and the ability to chase my kids I have to do this.

The next thing I am going to attempt to let go of is stress. As I said, I am no super mom, so whenever life starts to get crazy I physically, mentally begin to feel it very quickly. My sleep suffers, and then my irritability sky rockets. It's not pleasant for my family, and not healthy for me at all. As with losing weight, I'm not exactly certain how I'll accomplish this one, just that it needs to be at the top of the list for my yearly achievements. I know I'll be experimenting and blogging about what works best, whether it's a better organization system, yoga, oils, extra sleep, etc. Something will work some day :)

#Reverb14 Day 4 Energy of the Year

Welcome to #Reverb14 day 4, the prompt for the day is: "We are all lightning rods, conduits for that which the Universe wants born into this world. What energies did you channel this year?".

Well... Honestly... I think the energy was pretty much determination until a few months ago. I found a way to dig deep down inside and just do the work that needed to be done to get my degree completed. I have always, always, always been a procrastinator, but vowed at some point to just suck it up and do what needed to be done. Shockingly, I defied all odds and did just that. Between March and September I completed 9 courses and one major test, and since then (three short months, basically), I have finished 6. I still have more to go, along with another huge test, but I know now that it is possible. And I decided to become a double major instead of single - more work, but more stability in the long run.

I will admit the whole year has not been the energy of breakthroughs and power. The last few months have brought out a frustration level in me that I have not felt in years, and have brought about feelings of hysteria. I blame it on homework, but honestly I have come to terms with the fact that I am just not a perfect mom, wife, employee, etc. Coming to terms with that has helped immensely, and hearing sermons reminding me to just cast all of my worries on God. I am working on going from doing this all in theory, to actually doing it daily.

Next year, I may just be able to channel all of the good points together, and blast through to some form of success!

#Reverb14 Day 3 - Loving the Here and Now

Welcome to #Reverb14 day 3, today's prompt is: "It’s all too easy to put off loving where we are until everything is perfect. What can you love about where you are now??
To be honest, this is a really hard one for me. One of my major faults is that I tend to always see the negative in things; rarely seeing the beauty in the immediate. I should change that word choice from "rarely" to "never". A flaw that needs to be worked on, and kicked out of my mind set, I know. Even my own mindset on today proves that - I lost out on a teacher for student teaching next year, my foot hurts, I don't feel well, not enough in the bank, I had to pay too much to get my tabs renewed (why do they need so much for taxes, again????), and I walked in the door to find out my daughter didn't obey me as she should have. Grr, grrr, grr, bad day abounding.

So what is there to love right now, honestly? For starters, I have a home when so many around me do not. All it takes is a five minute walk down my street for me to see the homeless. So many homeless, and the temperatures are plunging below freezing levels - and no, I do not intend to comment on why anyone is homeless, or play any blame game, it is sad no matter how it is looked at.

Next, I have two children who love me. Instead of focusing how I never have me time, don't get enough sleep, or how I'd love to have a third but can't afford it, I need to see the struggle of some people working to hard to be able to have one child, let alone two (or, in some countries, aren't allowed to have more). Yet here I am with two cute kids who have their morals in line with how they should be, and are always on the lookout of putting others first.

I have a husband who loves me, his children, and works hard at a job that physically breaks him every day. He may not be a doctor, or a lawyer, or have everything in line (to be honest, do any of us really have life all figured out?), but he does give it his all to help support us in any way that he can.

While most of you probably are hitting the upper hundreds with your friends lists, I have a small group whom I know love me, care for me, and will always be there in the event that something horrible happens. These people also love my children, and have shown them a tremendous amount of support. So, though it bothers me that the list gets smaller and smaller all the time, I love that it has shown me who is truly going to be there in the end, no matter what, and that those left are an incredible group of individuals.

Another thing I have, and love, is the fact that I am employed. After bouncing around for years due to the economy, and finding what was the best fit for me, I am about to celebrate my 3rd year with the Bethel School District. Not only that, but this job helped me accept, with ease, the career choice of teaching. Pretty cool and snazzy when it comes down to it. And I work with a teacher who lets me try things, and is open to teaching me new things about my future field. So, I may not be in the "career" of choice that can make my family proud, yet, but this was the essential door opener to get me there.

Lastly, I have been given the opportunity of an education. I was forced to attend community college at a young age, and having completed an associates by the time I was 20 helped me be able to finish my bachelors degree so quickly. So many people around the world cannot afford to go to school, or do not have the ability to go around their work schedules. Thankfully, Western Governors University was created in my life time so that it is a reality. Though I hate the stress, staying up late, waking up early, and the worry of how to get placed for student teaching... I love that I have been able to do this.

After having taken the scenic route, I think I am able to say that I love all of the polished parts of my very unpolished life. It will never be perfect, and there will be hundreds of days where I think "grr to you all", but deep down I know that I have all that I need, and that can be enough to make me love my life.

#Reverb Day 2 - Beautiful

Today's prompt is "Gorgeous: When did you feel beautiful this year? Why?"

I'm sure there have been several instances when I felt beautiful this year, but without taking the time to go through every single picture taken in 2014 (I have realized in the last few minutes that I may have a problem when it comes to documenting things image wise) so I will simply list the top three.

1. About two weeks ago my son woke up crying with body pain. He hurt everywhere and was having a hard time thinking strait. After getting him some pain medication and juice, I simply held him and sang. Those of you who have been so unfortunate as to hear my vocal chords in their full array know that this was not necessarily a blessing for my kid. What it did for me, though, was make me realize that I was able to sooth pain away by doing some very basic comforting. As a mom, that moment made me feel beautiful.

2. Over the summer, my kids and I hung out a lot. At one point, my son asked if he could give me a makeover. When he was complete, he told me I was beautiful. No, I was not runway ready (nor, for that matter, will I ever be), but in his little eyes he'd made me into perfection. At that moment, I felt beautiful.

My makeover

3. Another thing that we did over the summer was a lot of hiking. At least, attempted hiking since my body did not want to seem to cooperate. At a few points, on different hikes, I simply had to turn back since I could tell if I pressed on I would not be able to finish the hike and would probably collapse. My daughter, ever the wonderful companion, would instantly offer to hang out with mom and keep me company, instead of getting to go off and see new sites herself. The first time this happened, she and I took our time going back, taking pictures of each other, and pointing out different views we wanted to remember. In that moment, with my daughter as my best friend, I felt beautiful.

My Certainty

And Reverb is back! Woo hoo! The following is today's prompt:

Today, I invite you to take a quiet moment to consider: what can you say right now with certainty?

This was a hard one for me. A lot in my adult life has been based around realizing not much is certain, each day is a gift, and that something completely unexpected can pop up at any moment. Then, it flashed into my mind: I will be done with school next year! I have 5 classes left, along with student teaching, and then I will be completely done. At this time next year, I will be on the precipice of completing all I have worked so hard for these last few years.

And, then, the daunting task of finding a new job will face me. That is a worry for next year, though. This year, today, I am certain that I will be done and will have put all of this effort in for a purpose - the purpose of bettering my family!

Photo courtesy of www.wgu.edu

November Thanks Day 25 - The City I'm in Love With

In 2008 I made a move to a city that showed me what community truly is. Having lived in various areas of Tacoma for over 6 years, now, I can honestly say it is one of my favorite areas to be and has everything anyone could want (minus the country life, which I do enjoy as well). The schools are fantastic, my former neighbors (there will be a post about them later) were kind hearted and observant, and the culture was fun.

The Tacoma Dome

Tacoma has allowed my family to enjoy so many outings at the affordable price of free (or pretty near it). Starting with the incredible museums - every third Thursday of the month the whole community is allowed to come and enjoy everything these places have to offer. There is also a children's museum that runs on donations. Kids can enjoy hours and hours of educational, safe fun and beg to go back as they are leaving.

Kids and Neighbors outside Union Station

Looking at glass scultpures

Glass by Dave Chihuly

More glass by Dave Chihuly

Fun inside the art museum

Union Station

Glass by Dave Chihuly

Family in front of Chihuly glass at Union Station

There is also an awesome baseball team (the Rainiers) who are the farm team for our  major leagues. Games are fun, active, yet laid back. And, biggest bonus are the free summer movies the stadium hosts for families. Bring a blanket, and lay out under the gorgeous sky and watch the summer favorites. Do like some families do, and bring a glove and ball to play catch away from the crowds, gives the kids the experience of playing where some of the greats started and is an opportunity most of us have never had!

Also, downtown, there is Ruston Way - a whole area for people to walk/jog/play that is right on the water. It is beautiful, and has a view of Vashon Island (another beautiful gem in this area of Washington State), and Mount Rainier. You can go, watch people scuba dive, watch parasailing, go fishing, play in the water, or eat at some top notch restaurants.

View from the trails on Ruston

More from the docks of Ruston

The parks in Tacoma are incredible, as well. Wright Park is one of our favorites. Not only does it have the Seymour Conservatory (pictures from there will come in December), but has pretty statues, a cute duck pond, and a romantic winding trail with stately trees lining it. Wright Park used to be a dark, dangerous sort of place, over the last decade it has been made into the local family hang out. It has a water park addition for the summer (free to use, and hours of fun), along with cute playground. In addition, many community events take place there, like the star walk where locals create stars that light up, and frame the trees of the park. There is an annual Dickens Festival complete with carriage rides and a Run Like the Dickens event.

Kids and I looking at statues at Wright Park

Photo courtesy of www.en.wikipedia.org
Conservatory at the park

Photo courtesy of Pinterest.com

So there you have it. I love Tacoma, I love all it has given me and my family (many reasons I have not written about here), and am so thankful we decided to make the move here so many years ago.