#Reverb14 Day 15 The Gremlins

"I’ve learnt over the years that the only way to get anywhere in life is just to notice what other people are doing, hear the gremlins, feel the fear and do it anyway. It never gets any easier but to keep on doing it is the point.

What are you really proud that you made happen in 2014, despite the gremlins? And what will you do anyway in 2015?"

 

Oh  man, this was my year for that. Though technically it started at the very end of 2013, I really dove in feet first to my new job in the Resource Room at work in 2014. That was terrifying as I had never done anything like it before. I had either had a small group with general education students, or been a one-on-one - never before had I been in charge of my own groups all day long teaching multiple subjects with a wide variety of age ranges. It was scary to learn how to manage the kids (still learning on that), pace myself with my lessons, and actually make certain they left each day learning something. Absolutely terrifying, especially knowing that whether or not I had failed/passed would be reflected on their standardized tests at the end of the year. Pretty proud that I stuck through with it, and am still going this year.

 

Next up for 2014 was my decision to just jump in and change my major. Instead of K-8 general education degree, I'm a dual major now for general and special education. It felt like a natural, logical decision, yet when it came time to make the call it definitely rocked my world a bit with apprehension. The change was made, though, and it piled on extra work for me. I can say, though, with an absolute certainty that it has been worth it so far.

 

Lets see... I partially climbed a mountain as well this last year. My body wouldn't let me finish, but I still stared fear down and gave it a shot. And, let me tell ya, some of those steep cliffs left me with my knees wobbling with an intense fear of falling over, yet I still proceeded on in both directions.

 

Lastly, I decided to stop talking about taking a family vacation, and just book the darned thing. I have always been scared of whether or not it was okay financially, and finally decided that if we keep waiting it'll either never happen, or the kids will be older and will have missed out on those young family trip memories. So book it I did, and those the anxiety is still there, I know we'll have a magical time.

 

In 2015 I first off want to make certain that we cancel our trip for no reason short of national emergency/family emergency. We are going. We are going and will willingly give up some of our extra luxuries (like Starbucks for mom) in order to make future memories. Yep, Lord willing, it's gonna happen.

 

Next, I shouldn't put this in print, but I am terrified of student teaching. It's a lot of pressure to be placed with a stranger, and hope beyond all hopes that you out perform anyone they've ever seen in order to get a glowing recommendation, and then a job. Talk about a four month package of explosive anxiety right there. I shall finish, though, and I'm 90% positive that all will turn out fine.

 

Lastly, after I gave up on my last hike, I vowed to get in better shape and do the exact same hike some time in 2015, but decimate it this time around. Or, at least, finish without collapsing in a heap at the bottom begging to be airlifted home. I might just set my sights lower in saying that I will finish the hike, collapse, but save my dignity by managing to walk to the parking lot within the first hour of finishing the hike (and after consuming copious amounts of fluids).

 

A lot has been faced in the last year - more, really, than I have even put down in print either for want of privacy, or in an effort to reduce redundancy - and even more in the year to come. Bring it, 2015!