My Scars - A Life Story

You see, life doesn't always work the way we picture it. A lot of life is about the bumps, scratches, and scars along the way to perfection. So why not give a little credit to the imperfections?My scars (every single one of them) has led me to this stage in my life, and two of them have given me the best gifts anyone could ask for. And at this particular life stage, I need to be honest with myself and all of you in how I came to be the person I am, to be the best person (and mother) I can with where my life has yet to go.

My first scar is right next to my left eye. I'm fairly certain my dad never planned on dropping me as a toddler while playing airplane.  It's small, maybe a few centimeters long, and no one notices it unless I point the thing out. Never once has it bothered me. Instead, it seems to be a funny anecdote that always leaves me with a smile, and the knowledge that I have a reminder that my dad loved playing with me (the scar, by the way,  happened because my face connected with the frame of their bed).

Toddler me with my parents, can't even see the scar

In high school I did some fairly stupid things, which is typical of most adolescents. I was lucky enough, though, to have some fantastic friends along the way who would do their best to straiten me out, or simply tell me how stupid I was being while still supporting me as a person. On my right hand, there is a scar from doing something stupid with a dear friend of mine who has now passed. Every time I look at my index finger I instantly hear his voice saying "no worries, that'll never leave a real mark" and see his smile. It's as though Daniel is permanently with me, forever reminding me to be who I am supposed to be and not cave to peer pressure. It is a mark I cherish, better than any tattoo could be, or long lost memory.

Daniel, he passed the day my son was born, 06/09/2008 

My right forearm has had a nasty mark on it for nearly 10 years, one that I don't necessarily hide, but definitely hate looking at. It has made me feel like a freak of nature, a person viewed as odd and depressed. You see, back ten years or so ago I did what I could to fit in, which included hanging out with non desirable people from time to time. One of those people decided to brand me (against my will) with a lighter leaving a third degree burn and infection. To this day, people give me side ways looks and off comments about it, suggesting it is something I did to myself. I have come to see it, though, as a reminder. A reminder that though I was weak in the past, and did not do anything to the person that hurt me, I am strong now. I am strong, and will be exactly who I need to be regardless of the pressures surrounding me.

Lastly, I have two scars on my stomach: One directly on top of the other. They are the scars from my cesarean sections I have had to birth my two children. When I had my daughter, it was quite the ordeal. A month and a half prior to her birth I began having real contractions and was dilated to a 2. After a few weeks of light duty, I was then put on bed-rest to try and slow things down. I awoke at 6:00am August 26th to my water breaking and went through a series of pitocin (hate that horrid stuff) to try and evict her from the birth canal. By 11:30 that evening the doctor decided an emergency c-section was needed, and my adorable little bundle arrived at 12:18am August 27th. From that day on I have felt guilt. Guilt that I could have had a vaginal birth if I had tried harder, if I hadn't been scared, if I had pushed harder. Maybe I could have walked the halls, tried going in the tub, sat on an exercise ball. Something. Anything. My birth story ends with a surgery (one that deserves a posting all of its own), and I cannot join in with the other mothers when they talk about their hours of pushing, and the feeling of their baby coming into the world. I cannot join them. And no mater what, it feels like it is my own fault, that I let myself down out of fear and sheer exhaustion. I see my scar, and how long and pink it is, and am forcibly reminded that I was not given an easy way out. The scar is my battle wound, my badge of honor forever reminding me of the fight I took to bring my daughter into this world.

My little angel, barely a month old

Not even two years later my son was born via c-section and my scar lengthened. I overheard about a conversation from one of my husband's friends thinking a scar from a baby lessened a woman's appeal (and no, this conversation was not directed at me). Instantly, I felt myself bend over as if to hide the scars that are visible to no one but myself and husband. Shame. The feelings of guilt were back, and with them was the fear that my husband felt these things to. My husband later told me "you have them, two of them, because your life is important and my daughter was big. It's pretty stupid to care about a scar I helped make."

Barely an hour after giving birth to my son

My body has more marks than this, but none are as important as these five. They are the connecting lines in my life story, the proof of lessons learned, or accidents done well. My scars are proof that I was so dedicated to having my babies, I was willing to let someone cut me in order to bring them into this world. I am who I am, marks and all.

Wordless Wednesday

My kids and their grandparents

New Beginnings -Thursday Fitday!

After last week's wedding

Sorry for the off and on again posts in the last few months - things have been crazy here this summer between school, classes, kids, just general things in life. I will have to admit that my fitness regime has been almost as lax as my blog posts (rarely made it to the gym, but have been active otherwise). It has been discouraging because the gym I did belong too was not challenging me enough (Curves), and its hours just did not work with my schedule - why on earth did it close at 11:00am on Saturdays, for a three hour break midday during the week, and completely on Sundays??? After my workout, I barely broke a sweat and was almost never sore: A sure sign that not much was really being worked out. Miraculously, though, I have trimmed down a little over the past few weeks.

As of the first, my gym membership expires, and I know that it is not the gym for me to be renewing at. So, this morning, I was signed up for a regular gym. As odd as this will sound, I am actually nervous to be back into a normal workout routine. It has been so long since I actually lifted weights (Curves does not allow weights to be changed, they stay exactly the same for the half hour circuit), that I am positive I have lost almost all of my muscle ability to do anything. Nervous though I may be, I will start tomorrow at the gym and go at least 4 days a week (woot for the gym being open on Sunday!!!!) unless something comes along that does not allow my attendance. To start, I plan on biking for 20 minutes, elliptical for 5, and weights for 20. Eventually I will build up, but I feel this is a decent start to get back to where I was years ago.

Another new start for me are the shakes that Krystal (of www.magicaldismom.com) started me on. They are the Body by Vi, and do well being a meal supplement. In the craze of the past few weeks I will admit that along with my shakes I have screwed up with my calories, but am hoping with things falling back into routine that my eating habits will as well. Please know I am not looking for a miracle of any sort, other than seeing myself start to lose.

Wordless Wednesday

Organization and the Busy Mom

I don't know about you, but most days it is a struggle for me to do everything that is required, plus more on the pesky to-do list. The end result is a catch all space for things I do not have time to figure out how to deal with, or don't know where it should go. And, lets be honest, between cooking, cleaning, getting kids ready, taking kids to practice, school (both for kids and self), helping the husband out, taking care of the dog (or other pet), volunteering, helping kids practice whatever class they're in, helping kids with homework, homework for self, etc that trying to come up with the energy to organize just doesn't come close to topping any list.

What I do know is this: An organized space (even if not perfect) will make life run much easier, and will provide more energy and less stress. Yes, that may seem obvious and unhelpful, but stay with me. All it takes to a more organized family unit is a few extra minutes a day. I read once that it really takes less than 20 minutes each day to choose a spot to start organizing and making better. Less than 20 minutes! No matter how busy you are, you can afford to give that time to less clutter!

Simply start by choosing the spot that feels the most frazzling (yes, clutter has a feeling), turn on the radio (or iPod) and crank up the tunes and start working away. Keep at it every day until that spot is done. If you feel on a roll and want to keep going, do it, but on the other days you feel like doing less break through the nagging urge and set a timer.

If music isn't your thing, use that time to chat with a friend on the phone, or play a movie in background, or a book recording. Something that will help you feel as though the time isn't just about getting more organized, but also giving a piece of "you time" at the same time. Either that or set up a reward system - say after the 20 minutes you will enjoy a wonderful glass of wine, or maybe a bath. Organizing should never feel like a drag!

One thing, though, make sure the clutter isn't moving from one space in your home to another: It does no good moving everything to the garage or a catch all room. Get rid of the excess and free your family and mind up. To keep things from being cluttered up again, have a donation month every year right after the holidays and save the receipts for the next years taxes.

So what are you waiting for, your 20 minutes is waiting for you!

Thursday Fit-Day: The Great Kid Deal

My wonderful daughter and son

In my quest for fitness, it is increasingly difficult when the undesired foods/drinks are in the house because of my husband and kids. I know what you're probably thinking, they shouldn't have the junk foods either, right? Right. Except my house has two different rulers: Mom who is trying to put veggies and what not into everything and tries to drink water (or at least Crystal Light), and dad who believes long live the deep fryer, and large amounts of sugar. Our middle ground has been making pretty much two separate meals for everything, and since it's 3 to 1 in our home for simplicity I do end up going along with them a lot of the time.
Please let me make a few things clear, though, my kids are required to eat veggies every single day whether they like them or not and do get the required amount of milk they need and are part of tons of activities to keep them running around. The concern is the extras, the processed foods, fried foods, not so good snacks, and wanting to drink soda all the time. The things that shouldn't be around, but are.

And then, genius struck: Why not make a deal with the kids, one that will benefit all of us. So, here it is, my kids have agreed to only eat and drink what I do. That may sound like a "duh" type statement, but here is the catch. If I eat or drink anything not healthy on a non cheat day (Sundays are cheat days here since we are at the grandparents) then they get it too. Both of them have been given permission to check what I am eating/drinking at any point, and let me tell you they do. The other day I cheated and had some soda, and within two minutes both kids arrived with cups in hand for their bit.

We have tried this for a few days now and it has worked perfectly. Anytime the kids ask for something they shouldn't have, they get one look from me and walk off repeating to themselves "it's not Sunday yet." And, because I have many guilt issues I have refused to sneak anything "bad" when they are not around. Have we broken a few times on not so perfectly healthy things? Of course, but it has really helped in the restricting of things, and has also made us all think twice before consuming something that really isn't worth it.

So why not make your own deal to live healthier? Even if you do not have kids this checks and balances system works with friends, spouses, significant others, family, etc. Why not keep check on one another to live better and longer lives?

Now, if only I could get the hubby to dump the deep fryer and join in...

Akershus Christmas Bread

Ingredients:

1 quart milk 

3 ½ ounces fresh yeast

8 ounces margarine

8 ounces sugar

1 ½ teaspoon cardamom

3 pounds flour

4 ounces raisins

3 ounces chopped citron

Begin by heating the milk in a saucepan, and then adding in the yeast. In a separate bowl, melt the sugar and butter together, and add remaining ingredients. Mix until the dough is a medium stiff consistency. Then, cover and let rise for an hour. Once the hour is done, kneed and separate into separate loaves and let rise for another hour. Once the rising is done bake at 425 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

Milk and yeast

My rising system - cover in a warm sheet and place on top of hot oven

Before kneading

Christmas bread

Please go to www.magicaldismom.com tomorrow for another Disney recipe with Krystal

Chef Mickey's Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients:
3 pounds Whole potatoes (Peeled & Cut in to 1 by 1 inch cubes)
2 cups half & half
4 Tablespoons Butter
¾ Cup Parmesan Cheese (Grated)
1 Tablespoon Salt
½ teaspoon Black Pepper

Cut and boil the potatoes (I never peel mine) until soft, then drain. In a sauce pan, heat up the half and half and add it to the potatoes. Mix and add in the remaining ingredients saving the seasonings for the last.

Using the mixer

Please go to www.magicaldismom.com for another recipe with Krystal tomorrow!

Chefs de France's Croque Monsieur

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups hot milk

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Pinch nutmeg

12 ounces Gruyere, grated (5 cups)

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan

16 slices white sandwich bread,

Dijon mustard

8 ounces baked Virginia ham, sliced but not paper thin

Begin by melting butter and stir in flour to make a roux. Stir for about 2 minutes. Then gradually pour in the hot milk and add the dijon mustard. Continue whisking until sauce has thickened. Remove from heat and add in spices.

Sauce

In a pan layer the bread, sauce, ham, cheese, and more bread. Fry on both sides until cheese has melted and the bread is a golden color.

Please follow Krystal tomorrow at www.magicaldismom.com

Boma's Passion Fruit Meringue Tart

What a wonderful, and relatively easy, sweet treat to make! It is rich, creamy, and full of flavor. The great part of it is that the size can be changed so if you are into healthy eating and do not want to splurge, simply use a smaller tart shell (which is what I did) and get a little bit of the satisfying flavor. Definitely will be making these again - all 24 that I made were gone within an hour between my house and my neighbors!

Ingredients:

8 each 2 ½" Tart Shell 

1 ¼ pounds Sweetened Condensed Milk 

2 ½ each Egg Yolks 

6 tablespoons Passion Fruit Puree 

2 tablespoons Lemon Juice 

5 each Egg Whites 

2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons Sugar

Start by making the puree, which is very simple. Take a strainer and gently push the insides of whatever fruit you choose to use through it (I added a little bit of strawberry so that my kids would like it more) and that is it. Then, mix the egg yolks, condensed milk, passion fruit, and lemon juice. Pour into the tart shells and bake at 250 degrees for 15-18 minutes (if using smaller shells check at the 10 minute point to see if the filling has set). While that is baking, whip the egg whites and sugar together until it takes on the appearance of whipped cream. After the tart has finished baking, remove from the oven and pipe the meringue on top and place back in the oven for a few more minutes at 370 degrees. Remove once the meringue has browned a little.

Beginnings of the puree

Adding in the egg yolk and condensed milk

The meringue

Tarts finished baking

Complete with meringue topping

Join Krystal tomorrow at www.magicaldismom.com for another Disney recipe!

Review of The Amazing Spider-Man

Image from www.en. Wikipedia.org

Spider-Man pin

My husband, son and I were lucky enough to go see The Amazing Spider-Man on opening day. In anticipation of crowds we purchased our tickets in advance, and went to an early showing at our favorite theater (the plush, big recliners at AMC cannot be competed with!). Because we purchased our tickets ahead of time, we were given an adorable Spider-Man pin and washable tattoos (both a huge hit with my son).

Let me begin my actual review by saying I am not a comic book person - I literally have no previous knowledge about any of the superheros unless my husband has told me (or I saw it in one of the other big hit movies that have come out). Within the first hour of this movie, I understood the entire story of Spider-Man. The first part of the film is dedicated to explaining Peter Parker's beginnings while still with his parents, it shows why he went to live with his aunt and uncle, and really delves into his character. While my husband (big comic geek) and I were enthralled with the back story, our four year old son definitely was not and had a hard time paying attention to the film; however, after Parker is bitten by the spider  there is almost non stop action that completely captured every one of us in the theater.

The graphics in this film were absolutely fantastic, especially when compared with the previous three movies (which I was a fan of, but now am in love with the new, more accurate version). It gave all of the action sequences such fluidity that it seemed real and at no point was I questioning whether the shot was live or not. One thing to keep in mind with the graphics/action is that it has given this film a PG13 rating. My husband and I discussed whether or not that should keep us from taking our four year old son, and decided to give it a shot anyways. Some of the scenes can be intense for young kids, but I will say that all of the children in the theater (of varying ages) handled it well and were very involved with the film by the end. Basically, if you have a young child and are interested in seeing it, go unless that child cannot handle the villains in the animated Disney films.

Also, the cast in this film was completely fantastic with Sally Field as Aunt May, Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy (absolutely loved her and feel she is leaps and bounds better than Mary Jane), Dennis Leary as Captain Stacy, and Rhys Ifans as Dr Connor/The Lizzard. Andrew Garfield played Spider-Man and, though I have never heard of him, he was absolutely fantastic! He gave the character edge, depth, believability, and a sense of humor.  At the end I truly felt that an average boy was going out to take on his responsibility of ridding the world of evil. The moral of the whole movie, as given by Uncle Ben, is it is one's responsibility to do good and change situations if it is within their power and ability, which is shown and said several times from beginning to end. I love that there are movies like this that are out for boys that really emphasize the need to do good!

All in all, this movie was fantastic and a must see (I may even go and see it again). The ending fortunately left way for a sequel, which I will definitely be lining up to see. I give this film 4/5 Mickey's, and it would be a perfect score except that it was a little long, and cannot quite hold itself against The Avengers.

Mama Melrose's Oven Baked Chicken Parmesan

This is a wonderful, juicy chicken dinner that is great for families or a romantic evening in. The only thing that would have made this better is if I had remembered to pick up a bottle of wine. If you are just making this wonderful meal for a few people (say 4) I would suggest cutting this recipe in half. The Chicken Parmesan is definitely my favorite recipe so far in this challenge.

Ingredients:

1 each chicken breast-5-6 oz, grilled

¾ cup Rigati pasta

½ cup tomato basil sauce

2 tablespoons Asiago cheese, shredded

2 tablespoons mozzarella/parmesan mixture

Chicken Parmesan Bread Crumbs

1 ½ pounds bread crumbs

½ ounce granulated garlic

½ ounce onion powder

1 tablespoon parsley flakes, dry

¾ ounce Kosher salt

½ fresh ground black pepper

1 ½ ounce fresh grated Pecorino romano

1 tablespoon basil, dry

1 tablespoon oregano, dry

1 tablespoon whole marjoram, dry

Chicken Parmesan Breading:

4 each eggs

1 – 2 ounces olive oil

Begin by beating the four eggs and then mixing in a little bit of olive oil. Set aside and then mix everything together for the bread crumbs. Dredge the chicken first through the egg and then crumbs. Once that is done, place chicken in a frying pan with a little bit of oil until both sides are brown. Then either place in the grill or oven (if baking in the oven do it at 350 degrees) and cook until the chicken is done. Then, place the tomato sauce and cheese on top of the chicken and put back in the oven until the cheese has melted. Place over pasta and add more sauce.

Spices with the bread crumbs

Fry for about 2 minutes on each side

Make sure both sides are golden brown before baking/grilling

Cover in tomato sauce and cheese, bake until melted

Wonderful, finished product!

Go to www.magicaldismom.com tomorrow for Krystal's next recipe

Perfect Disney Park Accessory

Recently, I was given a chance to help out at our church's sports camp. While there one of the kids brought something that I knew right away would be perfect for any Disney trip. It is a Mist 'N Sip 20 oz water bottle that has a misting option. All of us volunteers tried it, and had a blast. It gives a good mist with each push of a button that would quickly cool anyone off, and holds a good amount of water. In the week I was around, it did not seem to leak with all of the jostling around, either.

Image taken from www.Amazon.com

This amazing product can be found at sports stores, Target (I did not see it online, but it is sold in stores), and Amazon and pricing ranges between $9.99-19.00. Even on the higher end, this product is well worth it as it can be used at home during the summers (or heck, during a hard day at the gym) as well as in the parks. I know I plan on purchasing several in the next few days for our up and coming trip as well as my kid's soccer and cheer practices.

Disney Wedding Dress: Help Wanted!

I am doing this for my dear friend, Holly. Please read her following blog post and help her win her Disney dream dress. All it takes is a "like" on Facebook, vote, and then simply "unlike" to help push her into first place.

This is my pathetic plea! I don't normally do things like this, but this is probably my only chance to get my dream dress!

If you've read any of my posts, you understand that I don't come from a rich family, I don't have lots of money, and I live a rather average lifestyle. But its my life that I'm completely happy with! Since becoming engaged, I'm realizing just how expensive the whole wedding planning/process is.

I know we will have to have a budget wedding, and the vision I have is totally doable! I think I've finally settled on a venue too! The one thing that really concerns me, that is most important to me, is my wedding dress. A budget wedding doesn't really have the wiggle room to plan for my dream dress. Not to say my dress is outrageously expensive, but its over my budget. This means that I will probably have to settle for a  very pretty dress, knowing that its not truly the one that I want!

And what is my dream dress? THIS is my dream dress!

The Ariel Disney Princess dress from Alfred Angelo's Disney Bridal collection! Its absolutely gorgeous and everything I want in a dress. Its just the right shape and style to make me look great on my wedding day! I stare at the dress a lot and I can completely envision myself wearing this dress down the aisle! But alas, it is outside of my budget.

That's where the HELP part comes in! I recently found a contest through Pear Tree Greetings, the company we are looking at to do all our wedding invites and other stationary items, to win $1500 towards my dream dress. That is more than enough to cover the cost of the Ariel Dress! The contest rules stipulate that I must enter a picture of Pre-Hubby and I and tell our engagement story. After that, I am to get  friends to vote for us! For the first two days after I entered, we were in the lead, and now we are bordering on 5th place! I need to be in the top 5 to even be considered for the grand prize!

The contest is held on Facebook. You have to go to the contest page and vote for the couple you want to win. You can only vote ONCE during the whole contest. I need as many votes as possible to win this dress and would love if you all would vote for us and share with your friends to vote for us as well! Vote for us here! You may have to like their page in order to vote, but I know people who have unliked the page afterwards and the vote still remained! If you see this picture, you know you are in the right place!

Pre-Hubby and I all dressed up in Vegas!

EVERY VOTE IS FOREVER APPRECIATED!!! And any shares with your friends and votes from them are greatly appreciated as well! Please help us win. I want nothing more than to wear my dream dress on my wedding day!!

Thank you to everyone!

Hoop De Doo's Cornbread

Ingredients:

3/4 cup cornmeal

1 1/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 T. baking powder

1 3/4 cup flour

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1 cup milk

2 eggs

Begin by blending the flour, cornmeal, salt, baking powder and sugar in a bowl. Then in a different bowl mix eggs, milk, and oil. Slowly combine the ingredients and put in a greased 9*13 pan (or bread pan) and bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

Please go to www.magicaldismom.com for another recipe with Krystal tomorrow.

Akershus' Chicken Salad

I have been thinking about this recipe for over a month, and finally decided to just give it a try, it was well worth it! If you're wanting to remember either your Scandinavian roots, or a time in the World Showcase this is a good treat.

Ingredients:
2 cups cooked and diced chicken
½ cup sliced, blanched and drained mushrooms
½ cup blanched asparagus

Dressing: 
¾ cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon lemon juice
½ teaspoon celery salt
1 tablespoon sweet pickle juice
to taste salt
to taste white pepper

Blanch the asparagus and mushrooms, and cook chicken. Mix together, and mix the dressing. Pour dressing  over the salad and mix well.

Dressing

All the essentials minus the dressing

Complete

Gode å spise (good eating)

       

Go to www.magicaldismom.com for another magical recipe with Krystal tomorrow.