Not So Wordless Wednesday - ASL Awesomeness!

The Scary Average

In life, it feels like we are all taught that we can do whatever we want. And by whatever we want, it means we should all be strait A students (maybe a B or two along the way), be in wonderful athletic condition, have acceptances to major universities, and wonderful job prospects lined up. All it takes is imagination, hard work, and anything is possible, right? Anything less than above average is a failure, right?

I hate to be the one saying this, crazily waving the white truce flag, but what is wrong with average? At what point did average equate out to failure? And, when in our crazed society, did we decide that every person is able to be above average, and if their lives/grades don't reflect this that we, as educators/parents, failed them?

We, as a society, try to teach our young that everyone is a special, individual, with multiple talents. And this is true, but how does it tie in with the belief that I am an individual with my own talents, yet I am able to be above average in the exact same way as my neighbor? It just doesn't work. God made us all as precious human beings with our own set of individual strengths and weaknesses, strength and weaknesses that are to be celebrated and not shamed. Why should I, a mere teacher in training, feel as though I am not measuring up to a societal standard because I didn't go for a degree that would put me at, say, NASA? Not only that, but aren't the "average" skills necessary (such as being able to negotiate, have excellent people skills, being dependable, and the ability to manage) and just as important as rocking at anything scholastic?

As teachers - which is a term I use for anyone who has children, works with children, or is around children - it is our job to make certain the children around us are pushed to reach their mental/physical limits, and then give an extra nudge to see if they are able to go further. If that child's limits are a 2-3 grade in math, and that grade was earned (yes, I said earned) after working hard, asking for help, and trying different approaches, then that is a worthy grade to be celebrated. If another child works hard at spelling, and the highest they can get with hard work, coaching, etc is a 7/10 then congratulate them on a job well done.

I think we all have to agree, as well, that all people, with all abilities, are needed in the world. A truck driver is no lesser of a person than a doctor: Both have honest jobs, are serving others, and are needed. So, if there are the high, average, and below average jobs, but all are needed why should any of us be ashamed at any of those categories that our children reach so long as they are filling their potential at the same time as earning an honest living?

Let me add to this that I do believe in pushing, prodding, and expecting excellence. Without these three things, no one will amount to anything because all of us, deep down, are lazy (admit it, if we didn't have to work, have to go to school, or have any societal standards, we'd all probably lay around staring at a computer or tv screen all day) and need that extra nudge to get where we need to go. Kids need this, they thrive when they know what is required of them and that anything less than 100% effort will not be accepted. Having these three things, those, does not mean that excellence has to be a 4.0, acceptance to Harvard University, or a job as a surgeon. What it does look like is a parent (hopefully both parents) sitting the child down, having an earnest conversation, and explaining they may not be gifted everywhere, but if they work hard and prove they did their best, that they can be proud of themselves just as you are of them. Pretty simple, isn't it?

Average isn't scary, it isn't something to be avoided, or something to make you feel like a lesser parent because the neighbor (or family member, or friend) has a child with more 4's than anyone else in the classroom and yours works hard and has a handful of 2's and 3's. My own daughter is average: She has some 2's, 3's and an occasional 4. At report card time, I immediately go to the comments, which always tell me how hard she worked, how respectful she was, and that she put in all the effort she could muster to learn. Her dad and I then stress to her that she needs to keep working to pull up those 2's, but that we are proud of her. And, as a result, each report card shows fewer and fewer 2's, more 3's, and the same teacher comments. As average goes, I am pretty proud of her and think she's an awesome kid who may be a vet, a teacher, or a Taco Bell owner (her idea, not mine) and will leave the rocket science stuff to those who are more qualified.

The Last Few Days of Summer

Kids and I at Union Station with some Chihuly glass.

For most people, the last few weeks of summer are filled with preparation for the upcoming school year, maybe sneaking in a last minute vacation, and generally counting down the minutes until order comes back into the household. Well, not in this family! As someone who works in the education field, I know that as soon as September second hits, the stress will begin again. Please note, I love my job, I really do. It is just very hard being around students all day, only to come home and help my own kids with homework, and then begin doing homework of my own. Draining, that may be the better word!

At any rate, the last few weeks of summer are crammed full of things that cannot be done once fall comes. It has helped that some friends and I have created an online group to share different local activities that are family oriented. Some of them are learning based, and some are just for fun. Take a look at some of the things we've done, hopefully it will give you and your family some ideas for the last little bit of freedom and sunshine!

Why not sign your kids up for a last minute swim course? Ours was fun, and very informative, and was able to be completed within a week!


My son and his swim instructor



My daughter getting some last minute tips
 



Or, take the kids to go berry picking. It's relaxing, and they are able to save these for healthy snacks throughout the week!

The excited kids after picking a few berries

Another idea is to head to the zoo and check out any summer only exhibits. A lot of zoos will have items on loan from other states, and will promptly send them back once school resumes.

Touching a bamboo shark

Oh so fuzzy and weird!

Feeding the budgies with Grandma

In addition to those fantastic ideas, why not take the family for a fun mini golf outing? It's inexpensive, fun, and something even little ones are able to enjoy for short spurts. Another benefit is that, usually, mini golf is in the shade and moves slowly enough that, though exercise, it will not be horrible in the summer heat!

Mom, Reyna, and dad discussing angles

Posin' Reyna

And who can forget the beach? Not only is it relaxing, but most beaches have fun things to explore, shells to find, rocks to skip, and possibly some seals to spot!

Kids in front of a lighthouse on the beach
at Maury Island

Beach time at Vashon

 

Big crab shell my daughter found

Kids on the ferry ride to the beach!

And, lastly, why not check out some local museums? Many are free certain days of the month, and offer fun things for kids of all ages to do. Not only that, but museums are easy to take at your own pace, a refuge from the heat, and full of awesome learning opportunities!

Helping friends try on bonnets

Discovering a rotary phone

Wonderland exhibit

In these buildings we go "shhhhh"

Fun trying on pioneer clothing

I hope you all have had a wonderful summer, and take these last few, precious, weeks to spend quality time with your kids. Hopefully, this has provided some ideas of what to do next!

Put it Down Already

Photo credit to www.mastertheguitar.co.uk

Last night the kids, my dad, and I went to see a movie at our local, minor league, baseball stadium (basically one step below major leagues). We got there, found where we wanted to sit, talked, and soaked in the views of the beautiful blue sky, puffy white clouds, and the setting sun. Some families were using the opportunity to play catch and Frisbee on the side of the field before, and during some, of the movie: after all, how often will any of us get to say we "played" on a field like that? Everyone was content and happy to be seeing Despicable Me 2.

Sounds pretty perfect, doesn't it? Well, it wasn't. Let me first say that I had a wonderful time, as did my kids, and their Grandpa. What I am about to say has to do with me opening my eyes and seeing the sad things that we are doing to our kids. As I looked around, after the movie started, there were masses of parents who were using the time to talk to each other (no biggie as the movie was loud enough we could not hear conversations), read the newspaper, play on their phones, use the camera to take pictures, eat (understandable, not knocking that one), breastfeed (I wish I had taken a pic of that one, was so proud of the mom's out there doing that!), and chasing after their kids (also something that was fine, did not block the view of the movie at all).

In almost none of this were the parents actually sitting and watching the movie WITH THEIR KIDS! Now, I understand that there are times when the last thing any human being wants to do is zone out on a cartoon after possible hours of cartoon watching, fit throwing, fighting, and normal childhood routines. I do, I really do get that. However, when you take your child to a place where there is a family event happening, it's time to tune in and be a family. The conversations, newspaper reading, mass picture taking (take one of the family at the movie, and be done), Facebook surfing, cell phone talking and leave them at home. Seriously. Otherwise, your child will grow up and remember all the awesome things they did while mom, dad, and whomever else were ignoring them.

Now, the last thing I want to say is that kids deserve every single moment of attention from their parents. They don't, they need parents who show them that the world does not revolve around the youngsters of the family, and they need parents who do check out of family life in order to revitalize themselves. Also, I am not saying that picture taking and checking Facebook are bad. Anyone who knows me knows I am the queen of the camera and try to capture all of the moments. I've started to realize, though, that some times it's best to take a few, then set the camera down and actually be part of the situation instead of its photo journalist. The same with Facebook, I am royally guilty of checking that sucker way too often, and in watching everyone I realized I need to hit the "log off" button during certain times.

It's time, people, time to remember what life was like before texting, internet on phones, instagram, and the like. It's time to remember that we are all so very busy, and that in the busyness of life our children are rapidly growing up. Carve out some time for them, even if it's sitting through a movie you'd rather not see for two hours on a gorgeous Friday evening. I guarantee you that years from now, you will not remember all of the things you could have been doing, but will remember how awesome it felt making your children know that they matter.

End of Summer Catch-Up

Back in June, I found out that I would be having a crazy school schedule. As soon as I accepted what was in front of me, I realized that I would be shorting my kids on having a great time this summer. So, we sat down and made a bucket list of all of the things they wanted to do before summers end. Though I realize I should have shared this at the beginning of summer, I forgot and am making up for it now. Side note, the items that are bolded are what we have accomplished so far.

And here it is:

1. Baskin and Robbins
2. Going to the beach
3. Family game night
4. Picnic pizza day at the beach
5. Holiday celebration
6. Getting shells at the beach
7. To see lily pads
8. To see frogs
9. Have another family movie night
10. Go to the Rainforest Cafe/Museum of Flight
11. Go to the Art Museum
12. Go to the Glass Museum
13. Go to the train station
14. Play in the sprinkler
15. Going to Uncle Doug's
16. Ice skating
17. S'mores nights
18. Swimming lessons
19. Art projects
20. Sleeping in the tent
21. Go to the park
22. Go to the water park
23. Squirt gun fight
24. No tattling for a day
25. Watching The Lego Movie
26. Watching Smurfs 2
27. Staying up late
28. Alder Lake
29. Mount Rainier
30. Put put golf

As you can see, we haven't made much progress.  That being said, we have done #29 several times this summer, and have had family come to us (#14) instead of us going to them. Also, some of them were done two weeks before school let out (we went to the beach, collected shells, and slept in a tent), I just haven't put it as official summer fun since school was still in session. I hope when my kids look back on all of this that they won't be disappointed, and will have had an awesome summer!

Know Your Story

Because school is right around the corner (whether I'd like to admit that or not), I decided it was time to discuss a very simple way to bring about classroom success. Now, I am in no way advocating that this is the only way to help your child in the classroom. Everyone is different, and there are so many valuable ways out there to help students learn (I will showcase some of those ways every few weeks) that it would be wrong to say that this is the fix all for every person out there.

A few years ago I stumbled on an article that made me really stop and ponder for a while. The article (a version of which can be read here) claimed that studies are vastly improved when children know their family history. Sound silly? It did to me, at first, but then I read on and found that what they psychologists were saying is that students who know what their families accomplished going back several generations, and failed at, have a stronger sense of self worth, stronger values, and an ability to combat stress better.

The point is to sit children down and tell them how their family came to be. What things have they overcome and still been standing, with their family, at the end? No family is perfect, no family has the perfect tale, and it's important for all of our kids to see the struggles, the heroic tales, and the mundane that all helped create them. The studies that were done by Dr's Duke and Fivush comprised of twenty questions for a scale about basic family history (including health knowledge that we should all know) and has questions such as "Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth?" (Feiler, 2013). A mere two months after these psychologists ran their study, 9/11 took place. At this point, the psychologists, again, studied the children who took part in this scale and came to the conclusion that those who knew their past were better able to cope with these horrific events.

How does all of this help with school? When children have a strong sense of self they are able to determine what they want to do in the future (even if that future is, say, a week from now when they will have a test) and will set out to conquer it. This can be applied to studies, and to finding a career that they want. When children are able to monitor their stress levels, and cope, they will be able to handle difficult courses in school, and will not (like many students I have seen) break down and give up on a difficult math problem, or while reading a difficult story.

Personally, I can relate to this study. I have known that my family were once Norwegian farmers and have now climbed up to produce a generation full of engineers, medical personnel, missionaries, and small business owners. Even now, as I finish up  my schooling, I am propelled further in my studies and career by not wanting to stop that cycle of growth, and wanting to honor my family by doing well. At the same time, knowing my family has also taught me that there is no shame in a simple life, so long as family and God are always kept close.

Though most of us are always running on a time crunch, Dr. Duke suggests this can be done while "parents pursue similar activities with their children. Any number of occasions work to convey this sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers, even a ride to the mall". For us, I have tried showing my own children who they are, and where they have come from. Each week, four generations of us are together for church and lunch. Also, we have different things around the house (like an apron from my Great Grandmother) that the kids get to use, and hear about these people as they use them.

How will you share your history with your kids?


My children with their Grandparents

Great Grandma with my kids and their second cousins

Kids and their second cousins (or cousins once removed, whatever they are)

My children with their Great Grandma and Great Uncle
 

The End: It's Time to Break-Up

Pardon the sideways video, this is the first time I have made, and then posted, one and I'm still getting the hang of things (I could always do it again, but as it's a 2 hour drive to the mountain and I'm already home, that's NOT happening). Also, excuse the lack of planning in what I had to say, it was a spur of the moment decision that I made after approximately five minutes of thinking things over, and waiting for the crowds of people to walk away so they wouldn't think I was crazy.

That being said, I have never been so sad with myself in my life. We went on a hike to the Skyline Trail (for those of you not certain what this is like, learn more here). Now, last summer I went on this exact same trail and had a horrible time since I had figured summertime = no snow. Because of that, I wore really sturdy flip flops, and ended up regretting it 1/2 mile in when a snow field appeared, and ended up walking barefoot in said snow. When I found out, yesterday, that we would be going back, I decided it would be different this year. I've already gone on four other hikes, and done a decent, although painfully slow, job, and I've been biking for a minimum of an hour a day, six days a week. This hike, to me, would be a piece of cake.



Photo by Reyna

HA I say, HA to my former self of yesterday. The result of today's expedition left me wanting to sit on the side of the trail and cry a river Mount Rainier a new River of Pity. I not only saw, for the first time ever, a picture of myself (taken by my daughter) with me in all of my out of shape glory, but I was also in a situation where I had to decide to let my family go on ahead while I would turn back. Doing this in front of my husband, who has not done anything involving more than medium level exertion with me since before my kids were born, was absolutely humiliating - and not because he said anything negative, but because I felt I proved to both of us just how bad I am (by the way, in my video I said I got halfway up. I found out, after making it, that I was wrong. I made it close to halfway on the "up" points, but there was another 3/4's of the way to go to complete the full Skyline Trail, which my family did).

So, as I pantingly climbed these stairs (yes, I said stairs) I came to a point where I said enough. I could have gone a bit further, but I could see the switch backs strait up in front of me, and knew that I'd never be able to make it beyond another 1/2 mile. My husband, six year old son, and dad went on ahead and my daughter and I turned back. After hearing their tale, I know I was right and that I could not have done it (1700 ft gain in elevation, most of that in stair form... Ha ha, no thanks!) right now. The thing is, though, I should have been able to. There were all sorts of people around me, some of whom were Grandparents (I'd say 70 years young) and they kept plodding along. Yet I could not do this, I could not put one foot in front of the other and keep on going without feeling like an asthma attack was about to strike.


My dad, son, and husband climbing the switchbacks without us.

A view backwards of the stair action

 



The zig zagging are the switchbacks, which have stairs all the
way to the top, at least that's my assumption. I wasn't
about to test that assumption either.

No matter where I turned, today, I seemed to see a reflection of myself and how I have let myself and my family down. I am a blob, a person who (if it was needed) really probably couldn't survive a disaster beyond a day, and I cannot live my life to its fullest because of my limitations. In short, I have been my own worst enemy. Not my husband, my kids, my stress levels, or anything else. It's all been me, and it's now time for me to end things with myself, and break up with the way I am now.

Please enjoy my rant, and keep any negative, disparaging, comments away from me as I need some positive incentive to keep moving forward. Also, please don't assume I'm inactive, because I am far from that!