Is Cable Good for Kids?

Photo from popcultureandamericanchildhood.com

Recently, I have been re-evaluating the influences I place around my children. It's pretty safe to say that there are poor images/actions/decisions everywhere you look, but that does not mean I cannot do my best as a mother to try and shield them from the constant bombardment about adult decisions. I hate to say it, but cable has been one of the #1 things I am starting to resist.

Think about it, even on family channels (unless it is the wonderful Disney Channel) the advertisements played send horrible messages. There is no need for my children to have innuendos shoved at them when they should be seeing innocent afternoon cartoons. Even if it were not for some of the lewd messages being hidden, I find myself being upset by the attitudes portrayed in cartoons.

For example, a few month's ago my daughter was watching Ni Hoa Kai Lan (which I used to be a huge fan of). In it, one of Kai Lan's friends made an offense against the Grandfather and got an attitude. A major attitude. In the end, everything was alright after the friend was told they could be mad, but needed to apologize in the end. I understand kids needing to be able to express their feelings, but there is no way (I repeat, no way) that it will ever be alright for my children to scream those feelings at me. So why should the cartoons they see say it is alright? Why do current shows for kids have the parents as a secondary character - and usually being laughed at? Even my beloved Disney Channel has taken flack for the ways some of the tween shows have been written, and I sadly agree that they have started to contribute to the problem.Yes, I know that we as parents are ultimately the ones teaching our children the proper way to act, but when we allow them to watch a show with negative behaviors, isn't that our way of excusing the actions to our children?

Another issue I am beginning to have is seeing the current generation so focused on being inside with their beloved cable and internet, that they have no idea how to play anymore. In this house, it takes constant prodding (and threats) to get my daughter to go outside. Once she has been out for a few minutes, she is in heaven and not wanting to come back in. As soon as playtime is over, though, she immediately asks for the TV or internet. I am aware that it is my fault she is so hooked to these things, as I used to see them as learning tools. It can be amazing to see her navigating the internet, reading, learning extra facts: The same can be said for watching National Geographic on cable. At what point, though, is it too much to keep in the house?

Growing up, my parents had no cable but did invest in a TV/VCR and provided me with a library card. With it, I spent many days trolling the library for new movies to rent (I was allowed to watch classic cartoons, educational films, anything Disney, and black and white films) and books to read. Since my parents did not allow the TV to always be on, it opened up a whole new world to me in books, the outdoors, and crafts. I wanted to understand how the things in my books worked and looked, so I was given the tools to try and see (ever want to get a 7 year old to be engrossed in a project, teach them how to make a feather quill and ink, and let them have at it). The old movies I was allowed to see showed strong family units, respectful children, and had clean humor. Not only that, but these movies were excellent teachers at how things used to be (lack of women's rights, anyone?) and seeing the great leap our society has taken in such a short time.

We have a weekly family night, which has been put on hold as we figure out my husband's new work schedule; but on those nights we watch the Disney Classics like The Ugly Dachsund and the Swiss Family Robinson. It is such a great way to unwind and just not worry about what might be coming next, and my children are starting to love these movies. Because of that, I believe I am making the decision to rid this house of cable once the Olympics are over (an event that I feel important for my kids to see). At that point, we will rely on the library, Netflix, church,  and other outside experiences to fulfill us.

So tell me, what is your take on cable and its influence on your children?

The Learning Mom

Kids with Rosie the Riveter

With Mother's Day fast approaching I continually see articles about the need to praise/thank/give gifts to mother's to they know their value. As a mother, I love receiving all of the above, and it definitely helps keep me charged for a few months in knowing I am loved when those moments strike where it seems the household (i.e. my two beautiful children) are against me.

What has been on my mind, though, is not the praise I should receive (and hopefully will get this Sunday), but all of the things I have learned by having my kids. Below are the top five, in no real order.

1. No matter the age, if a child can speak they are capable of having some sort of intellectual conversation. Not only that, but they are way more perceptive than most of us give them credit for. My daughter, at age five, has had conversations with me about things she has seen on the news. For years she has been able to sense when I am upset, who it is at, and why, and will often reward me with a huge and kiss, accompanied by an "it'll be alright mommy" to cheer me up.



Though blurry, my daughter learned about women's
 roles in the workforce by choice and sought out opportunities
for pictures by things she saw as monumental

2. Cleanliness is good, perfection is not. My children will see me cleaning (and before I get any envious comments, this is not a daily occurrence) and will jump in to try and help. As mom, I have ways that I like things to be done, and rarely are the toddlers able to accomplish things to my satisfaction. What I have learned, though, is to let it go and show them how grateful I am that they are trying: There is nothing more disheartening to a child then to see someone following along behind to pick up the pieces. So what if my carpet doesn't have the nice lines in it, or my dishwasher is loaded funny. They both get an A for effort!
3. Though they may not be able to do much, kids in the kitchen (or alongside whatever your hobby may be) will create future memories and skills. It makes them feel important knowing that they are helping mom (much like the cleaning), and nothing makes them more proud than seeing their hard work put on the table.



My little guy helping make cornbread

4. Create an atmosphere of forgiveness. Sure, kids mess up and knowingly do so, but don't you as a parent maybe yell or do things you shouldn't as well? I know as a mother of two young kids (to be honest, even in being an employee, wife, part of a community, etc) I can be stressed and snap much too easily and my two lovelies are always quick to forgive, and provide a hug. So, unless their behavior truly is toxic (ex. stealing, lying, hitting, etc) and very repetitive offer up forgiveness and acceptance of their humanity. Not only will it create a better home atmosphere, but it will also teach them to forgive others that cross their paths later in life who have made mistakes as well.
5. I wish my home was always perfect and in tip top shape (Krystal has me on that, her time management skills are to kill for), I have learned that when my time is not managed well (and unless it has to do with work, it rarely is) that it is alright to leave the laundry for tomorrow, do the dishes later,  and leave the weeds for another sunny day so long as I can create a memory of my kids smiling. Growing up, my mother was a pack rat and I remember this only when truly focusing in on how things used to be. What I do clearly remember: Family bike rides, playing catch, going shopping, planting flowers, and learning how to play duets on the piano. In no way am I saying let the house fall apart, or that those who do have the perfect schedule to achieve everything are wrong. What I am suggesting is if there is an opportunity to create a memory, take it. 50 years from now you will be sharing those memories about what "little mommy/daddy" did as a child with your grand-babies.

There you have it, that is my list that I know will grow throughout the years. If you have a list of your own please share! Have a Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Kids and the Disney Legacy

l have to admit that as soon as I found out I was pregnant with our daughter, I immediately thought about all of the Disney movies I could not wait to share with my child. At the time, I was obsessed with the Aristocats, and my husband and I ran out and purchased a purple, stuffed Marie to put in the nursery.

After she was born, I promptly started the Disney induction by always having Playhouse Disney in the background, and only played Disney tunes (and, I'll admit, occasionally Broadway) in hopes that she would eventually follow my footsteps in being an avid Disney fan (or as my husband lovingly calls me, a nut).

image from
www.mmstreasures.com 

As soon as she was old enough to actually sit down and watch movies, I had added to our brood with a newborn baby boy. So we watched lots of Mary Poppins and Sleeping Beauty - anything with good music mommy could sway the kiddos to!

By mid toddler years it seemed that Disney had started to bring back their magic in the movies, and hits like Cars, Princess and the Frog, and Tangled were coming out. Fortunately for me, almost all of the new movies were ones that both of my children could enjoy together, and have wonderful morals and acting that make it enjoyable for me and my husband. As you can see, Princess and the Frog was a true favorite that made its way into our Halloween!

As my kids have grown older, I have started to reminisce about the Disney movies I watched as a child, and how they added sparks to my imagination. I will admit that I have not shown a lot of the tried and true classics yet as they seem corny to today's youth. Then I started thinking, what's wrong with corny? There are so many of the old movies I cannot wait to share with my kids like Blackbeard's Ghost, Moonspinners, The Rescuers, Steamboat Willie, and more that are perfect for their childhood innocence and wanting of adventure. Old fashioned or not, these are part of my legacy (and the Disney legacy) that I will proudly pass on to them.

So what about you, what Disney movies of the past are you most excited to share with your kids?

The 411 to Avoiding Meltdowns

Anyone with children knows that even the smallest amount of excitement and anticipation can lead to an ugly (and often times public) outburst. With all of us Disney lovers wanting to share the experience of a trip to Disneyland/World with our little ones, those outbursts can easily ruin a day in the parks (or, lets face it, even a local excursion/event). In order to avoid the frustration and exhaustion on our next trip, read on for some tried and true tips!

First off, set a basic and clear outline of the days activities. My kids often become worked up when they know something big is happening, but don't know when and the anticipation kills them. So, for example, tell your little one at breakfast "we will be going to the Magic Kingdom after we eat, and will see some characters, and then will come back for a nap." As the activities start, remind your child about the earlier discussion, and what comes next in the sequence. If you do choose to go back to the resort for a nap, let your child know that you will talk about the rest of the days activities after everyone has had the proper amount of rest, and is ready to go again.

Next, never fail to have enough snacks and water. This may seem far from a novel concept, but as a previous cast member it was shocking to see how many parents drug around their young children who had, had enough and were screaming for food. As we all know, wait time for food at Disney can be a bit daunting, so prepare in advance. Also, it is a good idea to stick to some tried and true healthy snacks from home ( if you're able to pack them, or find something similar at the parks).

Another thing to do is to actually listen to what your child is saying (this works no matter the age - it even can work with newborns). So many times my daughter would become frustrated and angry because she had been mumbling about something that excited her, or that she wanted to see/do and no one heard her. Children at any age are trying to show that they're growing up and can interact with the rest of the family, so let them even if that means taking a few minutes out of the day to sit on a bench and hear them out!

As a former cast member I also strongly encourage any parent to bring a change of clothes for their kids. Some of the rides can make them wet, or they may end up sticky from that Dole Whip or Mickey Bar you all enjoyed. I sure know my children throw a fit if they're uncomfortable, so it's easily avoided popping them into something new before they realize they're wet/sticky/hot/etc.

One of the other tricks I have learned while being at home with my children is that they react in part to how I am acting. As parents, it is easy to let the day show on our faces and in our composure, and in the parks it is also easy to let everything cause us to rush and stress about the experience being perfect. The kids will pick up on all of that, and will react accordingly. So, though it's hard, the best strategy for being in the park with young kids is to take it slowly, enjoy each reaction (even the bad ones - they will be funny later on!), and know that the park will always be there for another visit.

Something else to definitely schedule in on every trip (I will admit that even as an adult I have taken advantage of this) is a nap. Even if you and your child are no longer at a point of feeling they are necessary in day to day life, take a nap! It really helps to break up the day, and can avoid that mid afternoon boiling hot mess of a breakdown. If napping really isn't something you want, then take an hour or two away from the parks for a swim in the pool, or to walk the grounds of your resort. Basically, take a break from the noise and constant movement to amp up the excitement for the evening.

Yet another thing I suggest is having any child that feels they are too old for a stroller out and about to practice walking for longer distances a few months prior to a trip. Most kids have no idea how large the parks are, and swear up and down to their parents that they can walk the whole thing, only to end up crying and begging to be carried. So let them train little by little so that nothing is a shock to their systems.

Finally, remember that your little ones will need comfortable shoes, sunscreen, and maybe a hat to keep themselves healthy and safe. No one is happy with blisters and a sunburn, so come up with a plan of action to avoid them!

I hope these tips help all of you in your next trip, and if anyone has more tips to share please feel free to comment or e-mail them to bibbidibbakemia@gmail.com