Help Wanted

Photo courtesy of www.fccgreensboro.org

Today, Mama Kat had multiple options for prompts, but the one that screamed at me was "a blog inspired by the word help". I can do that. It seems like I am either always needing it (and getting next to none) or always giving it. After all, help is what makes the world go round.

Except when the ability to say no to it makes life come to a grinding halt. The root reason, I believe, that most of us help is because we like to feel needed and wanted. I don't know many who say that their life's ambition is to 100% self reliant, no help from others, and no one left behind that would have those cherished memories of the things we have done for/with them. The problem, though, is when it feels impossible to say no. Why a simple, two letter word, should be so difficult to spit out I do not understand. And I am the queen of avoiding it. I immediately become red all over, start sweating, and can no longer look someone in the eye before saying it. The next part is a long list of justifications for why I cannot help out with whatever the project at hand is. How, though, as a woman who works, goes to school, is married (and husband just started working nights), has elementary aged children, volunteer, etc supposed to drop everything to help whenever it's needed? I'll tell you: the answer is less sleep, more screaming, and eyebrows that haven't been waxed in months (that last part, though, may just be because I'm lazy). The other two options are to 1. stop talking to all of your friends, or 2. buck up and say no. I have yet to start implementing #2, I should probably work on that.

The flip side to this help debacle is the inability to actually ask for it. Or to follow through with getting the help after finally asking. It seems there is a big panic that comes through after someone offers to help of "what if I look to weak", or "crap, I need to scrub my house now". When that panic comes, cancelling the help usually immediately proceeds. In reality, if I'm desperate enough to reach out and ask for help, I should not be concerned how I appear, what my house looks like, how crazy my kids are acting, etc. Help is necessary (remember, it's what makes the world go round), and I should not be too weak to accept it.

So, it's my turn to say that I need help. A lot of it. There is so much going on, and so much to juggle that life feels pretty lonely some times (how, with a houseful, I do not know). Friends and family, be warned, the time has come for me to start asking. And to start saying no. I like how that sounds.